loving with open hands

"Abs, we need to love with open hands. We need to love with the understanding that at any point we may loose all we have. We need to accept that what we love doesn't ultimately belong to us. We have to love without holding something captive, controlling it, exacting it to be what we want. Open hands, Abs, open hands."

I called 911 for my daughter, she was in distress and couldn't breath. Asthma. A disease that is cruel and bold, capturing it's victims by the simplest means...that of a breath. To rob a person of a breath, then another, then another.... And as the Medic team arrived, the Fire Chief, and the county officer; I shrank little by little in the background. I had to let go, to give her away to a capable team that could meet her needs better them me, that could give her what I couldn't give her, I had to love her as she sifted through my hands. She belongs to God and I get to guide her for a few moments, but when it all comes to the end, she isn't mine.

Silent tears pooled, emotions overflowed, and I let her go.