another step is taken

it lumbers down the road

lights flashing

wheels turning

brakes screeching

door opens

voices calling

boots are shuffling

a new passenger, aboard

what precious cargo, this bus holds

what new connections will be made today?

what piece of the puzzle will snap into place?

each day, another step is taken-it may be a step back, a side step, or a step forward.

As parent and guide, I play a role; Active. Passive. Non-existent. Exuberant. Disengaged.

Its relentless and delightful, exhausting and full of privilege.

spirit of power, love, & self-discipline

"but a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline..." @ 2 Timothy 1:7. A spirit of power. Not the electrical-kind, allowing thousands of homes to be heated, to be lit, to be self-sufficient. Not the intoxicating, controlling, seducing kind that puts others down; that is centered on vanity, pride, and self. But the power to be love. The power to be disciplined. The power to live out the God-centered, Kingdom-building mission of Jesus Christ.

A spirit of love. Love puts others first, love endures all things, love is freely given and expects nothing in return, love is hope-filled, time-tested, all-encompassing. Love is a choice. And if a spirit of love binds, it is indestructible.

A spirit of self-discipline. Go ahead. Challenge God. Give it your best shot. Read the bible again and again. Test what it says. Pray without ceasing. Ask. Knock. Relentlessly pursue. Dare to be the best and watch Him take that effort, that self-discipline and move mountains, heal others, find peace, serve out justice. Watch Him alter your course, build your adventure, tailor fit your skill set, overwhelm you with all He has.

Spirit of fear

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear." Fear-of the unknown, uncertain, unchallenged. Anticipation of rejection, discomfort, pain. Expectations of failure. No effort, no risk. Bland. Blind. Numb. Is that what fear is? All in the mind, talked out of the adventure before I really begin? Examine it closely-fear. What does it smell like? What reference point do I relate it to?

The past. I carry around conversations, rejections, pains from the past? No one else knows. Why would I bring it up? The imprisonment is self-administrated. I placed the hand cuffs on. I tied the rope. I bound my mouth with the gag. No one else. Not one person is bringing up the past.

The future. I could fail, disappoint. I could sin. I could lose. I could be rejected. It's unknown.

I shouldn't try. It would be a disaster. The past has paved the way to writing the future. It's all broken. Why would I think I had the strength to change what's ordained to be? Again, the prison cell door is shut from the inside. By me. My hands closed the door. Slammed it shut. I hold the keys in my hand, but lack the power to open the door. I am enslaved by my doubts. My fears.

Why do I? Why would I sit in the seat of fear, allow a spirit of fear to bind me, when the God of the universe bought me and protected me, covered me, and saved me. When He says, "I have not given you a spirit of fear." If it's not from Him, why do I let it rule me? Oh God, take the keys.

how close do we come to darkness?

how close do we come to darkness?

how near do we walk beside danger?

"even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil"

like a child, blissfully unaware of the mine field upon which he plays

like a youth, carelessly driving too fast on a dirt road, narrowly missing the cliff

we tip toe around it, blindly stumble through it, crawl beside it, untouched....

until it's time for the testing. the waiting. the moment of faith without sight, courage through fear, conviction tested over integrity.

what seems to be random chaos is orchestrated;

a deliberate dance within a hot bed of coals

and if we knew how close we were, would we stop living? be afraid? seal ourselves up...

would we be bold and fearless? because we already know the outcome?

it comes down to choices. made by faith. refined by fire.

will you join in?