it's the contrast

How can we know beauty, unless we compare it with ugliness?
How can we appreciate success, unless we've experienced failure?
Isn't the depth of meaning directly related to the struggle, the journey, the length taken to understand?

We are comparative beings; understanding through contrast.

A happy baby is a true blessing when one knows the trial of sleepless nights and tear-filled agony of a sick child.

A successful endeavor is understood when one knows the step by step decisions, set backs, and wins achieved to reach the pinnacle.

A full belly is appreciated when one knows hunger. starvation. depravation.

An renewed sense of joy is understood after the dark nights of pain and suffering.

We need the journey, the process, to appreciate the trail's end.

But there is a subtle shift that we take, by nature, when we compare our story with others.  That's where envy, jealously, pride, competition, hatred, bitterness, blame, that's where these tools of emotion and human experience go awry.

There is a way to live, in freedom and in faith, that allows us to grow and become without being defeated by the comparison of others. This is critical to capture.

We need to live taking in the details, watchful, prayer-filled, dependent upon God, seeking, ever-seeking God's plan, delighting in the wonder, in awe and in reverence as we see, as we breathe, as we live.  This living requires tenacity, bravery, compassion, strength, humility, discipline, honor.

This living is different than wanting, comparing, desiring what others have.
 This living demands our eyes remained fixed on God.
 And its in this contrast that we are transformed.

swirling in glee

So I did a name study today, as I developed my prayer cards for 2013.
I searched out what my name means,
considered it's origins,
pondered it's definitions,
and what I've found leaves me
swirling in glee.

Let me explain.

My chief complaint is that I perceive myself as weak.
my name has origins in a queenly heritage

I believe in the supernatural, the spiritual, at times to my detriment
my name is fairy-like; I come by it honestly and when I see supernatural things, it's because there is a now and there is a not yet

I am, have been, and always will be drawn to light,
delightful of it's far-reaching qualities,
drenching myself of it's splendor,
awed by it's brilliance; I see the new earth illuminated by my King
my name is surrounded in white waves, white-drawn from light, bringing life

I feel painfully naive at times, too innocent, too wimpy
purity of mind, of soul, of heart is blessed

I want to be good, I see the positive, desire to dream of the potential
my very conscience screams in decibels my ears cannot ignore when I sin, when I misstep.  I would be the first criminal to turn myself in and sentence myself to death a thousand times over because my morality convicts me minute by minute.  I am scandalized by my wayward thoughts, horrified by my sinful nature, utterly shocked by the depth, the reality of sin.

I love new beginnings.  I'm a better starter.  I fly from one new thing to the next.
it's my sweet spot; where I like to be.

At the risk of being self-centered and indulgent, let me express that this study has been only affirming, uplifting, insightful.  For despite my father's seemingly random name choice based on the popularity of 1972, my heavenly Father ordained that my name, my being come into it's own for purpose and meaning.  And despite my human beginning, I can be transformed into something more, much more, through the dying of self and the living in Christ, my Lord and my Savior.

I carry hope because the things I battle about me were meant to be. Those things have intention and plan, order and design and when I release, accept, and endeavor to be the me God is refining and transforming, I won't need to apologize or laugh off or be embarrassed or compare any longer.

and that potentialis leaves me swirling in glee

"we are not without hope."

it's probably the kitchen table

When I wonder about the place where most memories are made; it's probably the kitchen table.

• consider critical decisions are made here,
•  arts projects are constructed,
•  it's where cookies cool on baking racks, 
• a place of science project experiments, 
• meals spread out, 
• tearful entreaties are waged, 
• deals are signed, 
• agreements confirmed, 
• birthday cakes song over the warmth of the table, 
• purposeful food dropped to open mouths of begging pets,
• flowers proudly displayed,
• devotions prayed and discussed around,
• and where family gathers 

There are no punishments meted out over the kitchen table, 

it isn't a place for consequence,

Rather, 

it's a place of joy, of memories, of laughter,

It's my favorite kind of place.

Why summer camp?

from summer camp crushes
to spirit filled moments

from captivating stories
to canteen candy choices

from swimming tests and deep water jumps
to canoeing and exploring, crafting and investigating God's word

bible camp is a rite of passage, and in a place and time where we have so few passages, this is important.

For the first time in my tenure at Five Oaks Church, we are inviting in a camp director to share why going to bible camp is a vital piece of the faith mosaic.

My experiences, my learnings, my relationship savvy, my growth as a person has a root in my summer trips to bible camp as I grew up.  There's nothing like the intensity of a learning lab away from home to push and pull, to draw out and develop, and to give meaning and strength to my walk with God.

along the way

On the fortieth year of my life, I hit a mile stone that is changing me.
I read through the bible, chronologically, from start to finish.
I learned so much along the way,
I was more calm in my outlook,
more patient in my relationship,
I walked taller,
I smiled brighter,
I felt deeper,
and I thought better, much, much better.

I can't explain any other way than to say that God's word is alive, it's a force that changes, and no matter what the daily passage was, I was different.  Changed.  Impacted.  Draw into a bigger story, my characterization developed, refined, deepened.

I'm at it again this year, taking a different path, but heading to the same destination.

Here's what I learned along the way:

• (Deut 33)God's entrance is blazing, "dawning upon us", shining forth, with flaming fire in his right hand
• (I Samual 15:23) Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, and stubbornness as bad as worshipping idols.  Not getting your way, being stubborn, disobedience, rebellion, in God's eyes, is as bad as idolatry and witchcraft.  Oh, my.
• (2 Kings 13:21) Elisha's dead bones bring a dead man back to life. Dead bones, Way dead, long dead, completely-tucked-away-dead still hold so much power that when another newly-recently-dead-person is thrown in, as the bones touch, jostle one another, the newly dead arose!
• (2 Kings 21) King Josiah became king at 8 years old because ever other option, all other choices, were dead. To me, that changes things from the Sunday School answer of "look kids, even 8 year olds can do cool things....because while I agree that 8 year olds can do cool things, the shaping of Josiah's life, the sober reality of hiding out in terror, losing all loved ones to battle, would severely impact Josiah's character.
• (Isaiah 7: 10-25).  God dares King Ahaz and for once, the evil King resists.  The Virgin will conceive a child, something not even a king could dream up!
• (Isaiah 49:16) "See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands."  My name. God's Hands. Whoa.
• (Isaiah 62:6,7) Don't stop prayer. Ever.
• (Jeremiah 10:1-16) "Their gods are like helpless scarecrows in a cucumber field."  Zing!
• (Jeremiah 12) "Why do the rich prosper?"  God's Reply, "If racing against men makes you tired, how will you race against horses?"  Perspective.  We need it!
• (Jeremiah 17: 5-10) Wisdom comes from God alone, and those who refuse God are cursed.
• (Proverbs 19:3)  We make our plans, choose stupidly, ruin our lives, and blame God.  It figures.
• (Proverbs 20:24) The Lord directs our steps, don't ask why, you'll never understand. Why wastes time, is disobedient, and is an enemy to faith.
• (Psalm 85:10) "unfailing love and truth have met together.  Righteousness and peace have kissed."  I know that place, I seek that place, I run to that place!
• (Psalm 104: 1-4) All majesty, glory, and honor to God!
• (Psalm 139:7-10) Hide and seek, God is the ultimate seeker, finder, winner!
• (Zechariah 11:13) Thirty pieces of silver, what the value of God is, as prophesied way before Judas and his betrayal. It brings further miraculousness to the story.
• (2 Corinthians 3:15)  The hearts of healers a veiled.  More is at play than I can know.
• (Romans 13:14) Don't know what to wear? Clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus
• (2 Thess 1:8) The Lord Jesus will come in flaming fire
• (Hebrews 4: 12-13) We are accountable to God, nothing is hidden from him, and his word is alive!
• (Hebrews 12:18-24) We can approach God, with grace, not like the Israelites at Mount Sinai, in complete terror, animals falling dead beside us if they touched the mountain.  That terror, that trembling, has passed.
• (2 Peter 3: 15-16) God gives time for people to be saved, and some of what is written is hard to understand, and further still, those who are ignorant will not understand.
• (2 Timothy 4: 6-8, 22)  Paul's final words. May the Lord be with your spirit and his grace be with you.  The time of my death is near. I have fought the good fight.

At first glance, a random list of bible trivial, seemingly unrelated

but, I dare you 

to begin,

to trace the dots, 

to find the connections, 

to see,

to learn, 

to explore who God is, 

what He looks like, 

what is to come, 

what already is, and how we play a role.  

Join the story.