Monday, December 27, 2010

tapestry

reading a well written novel is like watching a finely woven tapestry come into being
rich scarlet, hunter, and indigo are introduced
cherry red and sunny butter creme are added
violet and navy danced into place
thread after thread are seamlessly woven into place
until
with breathless anticipation
as the final pages are read
a new masterpiece is formed
rich in texture
vibrant in hue
mezmerizing in detail
a new tapestry is given birth
and
the world is a richer place,
a more beautiful place
because of this new creation

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

a tiny piece falls away

my heart, finite as it is, is limited in space and capacity and ability.
it is filled with stuff; good and right and holy
AND
corruption and pain and failure

my heart is pieced together with a ragamuffin ribbon of events and experiences,
verses and hopes, promises and plagues, wonder and joy and horror and pain

this collection fragments,
falls to pieces at times.

today, a tiny piece of hope fell away.
i watched it fall.

expectations of what should be
hope of what might be
longing of all that would be

IF not for brokeness and illness.

today, a tiny piece broke away and it ripped and tore and bled a little.

i want so much for my son
the one set a apart
the one i dreamed would be different

the one i gave to God.

a tiny part of what I want fell away.

it's hurt and it's healing.
it's pain and it's growth.

his way will not be what i thought and
i wonder what will come into being,
what part will be filled in.
instead.

what color? what action? what purpose? what intent? what plan?

"faith is being sure of what I hope for and certain of what I do not see."

i'll follow.
blindly.
waiting for restoration,
waiting for a healed and whole heart.

who needs a god who

Who needs a god who blows up your child?
who doesn't prevent cancer?
who refuses to intervene when rape ravages, abuse deafens, war destroys?

Who needs a god who watches hurricanes plunder and tornadoes sweep the landscape clear?
who needs a god seemingly all powerful who rejects using that power to save?

If a god is any kind of god at all, he would prevent pain, remove injustice, stamp out abuse, destroy war.....right?

Let's see, I say he needs to prevent natural disasters, destroy evil murderers, remove dictators from power, punish rapist-abusive-destroyers.

Look closer. Who is the rapist? Why do they rape? Who is the warrior? Why does she fight? Why is the atmosphere on our planet so volatile that it produces storms that wreak havoc? What went wrong? It should be changed.

To what? Who decides what? Shall I step into the role of God? Shall I decide? determine? exact justice? Or maybe, I should assemble a panel of hand-picked experts. Then, we can chart the course for humanity.

It's true, if you believe that the only reason God exists to to spread horror. But look deeper. Go beyond your finite-limited-imperfect thinking. Seek ultimate truth. You'll discover that God is more than an enabler or a preventer of an event. It's so much bigger than that. So much more beyond. It will blow your mind, stretch your reality, it will be so much more than about you and what you determine is right or wrong.