Wednesday, April 13, 2011

the experience of pain

Teeth gritting,
Fist pumping pain;
Pain that is relentless, unimaginable, confusing, stunning, vivid.

This first experience of pain is like no other because there is no reference point, no reason and we are reasoning beings.
While we may not agree, with logic can come acceptance.
But pain for pain's sake is disturbing.

Laying on the couch, groaning, agitated, exhausted, my daughter struggles to sleep.
Willing and praying, hoping and begging the pain away, I can do no one thing to ease her burden.

If I could, I would take it from her. Remove her burden. Release her from the depths, the darkness of pain. But I can't. Helplessly, I watch.

And then, through tests and scans, doctor's assessment and diagnosis, a reason is found, but not solved; and the pain, while managed, will not disappear.

It's a first experience with pain.
Is it necessary? Needed? Required for full life-living?

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