Spirit of fear

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear." Fear-of the unknown, uncertain, unchallenged. Anticipation of rejection, discomfort, pain. Expectations of failure. No effort, no risk. Bland. Blind. Numb. Is that what fear is? All in the mind, talked out of the adventure before I really begin? Examine it closely-fear. What does it smell like? What reference point do I relate it to?

The past. I carry around conversations, rejections, pains from the past? No one else knows. Why would I bring it up? The imprisonment is self-administrated. I placed the hand cuffs on. I tied the rope. I bound my mouth with the gag. No one else. Not one person is bringing up the past.

The future. I could fail, disappoint. I could sin. I could lose. I could be rejected. It's unknown.

I shouldn't try. It would be a disaster. The past has paved the way to writing the future. It's all broken. Why would I think I had the strength to change what's ordained to be? Again, the prison cell door is shut from the inside. By me. My hands closed the door. Slammed it shut. I hold the keys in my hand, but lack the power to open the door. I am enslaved by my doubts. My fears.

Why do I? Why would I sit in the seat of fear, allow a spirit of fear to bind me, when the God of the universe bought me and protected me, covered me, and saved me. When He says, "I have not given you a spirit of fear." If it's not from Him, why do I let it rule me? Oh God, take the keys.

how close do we come to darkness?

how close do we come to darkness?

how near do we walk beside danger?

"even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil"

like a child, blissfully unaware of the mine field upon which he plays

like a youth, carelessly driving too fast on a dirt road, narrowly missing the cliff

we tip toe around it, blindly stumble through it, crawl beside it, untouched....

until it's time for the testing. the waiting. the moment of faith without sight, courage through fear, conviction tested over integrity.

what seems to be random chaos is orchestrated;

a deliberate dance within a hot bed of coals

and if we knew how close we were, would we stop living? be afraid? seal ourselves up...

would we be bold and fearless? because we already know the outcome?

it comes down to choices. made by faith. refined by fire.

will you join in?

miracles

do you have to be seeking to find a miracle?

searching to find hope?

do you have to be asking to have a miracle?

are they purposeful?

are miracles seemingly random?

a blend of whimsy, a dash of fate, a sprinkle of a wish?

are miracles real?

do they happen today? now? in real time?

are miracles around us, beyond us, within us?

do we see them when they happen?

what are we missing?

do we want to know?

can we be satisfied to never know?

And if we can't know, does that mean we stop asking?

a love story

tell me a love story

a thousand times still

and i will never tire

but carry hope close to my heart

tell me he loves her

will fight and protect her

carry her and strengthen her

tell me she trusts him, believes him

will honor and care

with respect and joy, proudly carrying

his name, his identity, his legacy

tell me they will be bond, by choice

in faith, never-leaving, always-true

tell me a love story

a thousand times still

and i will never tire,

but be filled.

we need to imagine

Imagination. It conjures up four year old memories of castles, dragons, and kings. It brings to mind the royal quest to save the lost princess from destruction. To imagine means to go beyond what I see and what I can document to what I can feel and to what I can believe. Imagination poses new solutions, brings out magical endings, rides waves of fancy, and catapults us into the milky way. By imagination we can walk on water, live through fire, keep the sun from setting, time from continuing. Imagination is unending, infinite. Imagination can answer unanswerable questions, it can cast unknown explanations, it is bigger and better and ever changing.

We need to imagine, to get outside of ourselves, beyond out self-interests, and consider things greater than us. Imagination drives explorers to hunt, drives dreamers to find solutions, imagination causes us to grow. Wake up and imagine!

I used to hate November.....

Being a results-oriented-impatient-type-girl, I used to hate November. It was an unnecessary step to December. Typically, a cold and gray month in Minnesota; it ranks up there in Winter bleakness with February. Another not so favorite month. November is a long month, a delay, a holding period for the vivid warmth and color and light of December. November is the irritating math drill for learning the multiplication tables, its sweeping even corner of the kitchen after removing the chairs and garbage can before mopping. It's the set up, the details, the preparation for things better to come. November is the slow rise to the mountain top, the growing and decision making angst that tears and absorbs and inquires and questions. I used to hate November, but now, I am not in so much of a hurry. The world is hurrying around me already.

If it weren't for November, December would not come. If it weren't for November, I would not be ready for December. The leaves need to fall in November, the wood stacked, the Christmas lights hung outside, the conferences scheduled, the Christmas choir organized, the plans prepared so that December can come. AND in the midst of all of that, we take a day to be thankful. How can I not find November enduring? It's the set up for good things to come.

prayer

Prayer is instant, convenient, in real time, at any moment, accessible. No payment plan is needed, not credentials required. There is no dress code to prayer. It doesn't beckon with a learned language, but rather flows from the heart. Prayer isn't only for the privileged, the educated, the rich. Prayer is available to all. No secret codes, no expiration date, no shelf life. Prayer endures. It is eternal. It is ageless.

It is an ongoing conversation woven into the tapestry of our lives, it comes from a place within us and travels to a place completely beyond us. Prayer is magical, mystical, mysterious; prayer is unexplained. It's a pipeline, a river, a path; it's a journey, an adventure, a way of life.

Prayer is unstoppable, it is unshaken, it is our only hope.