I just want you

God,

I want you more than I want to be understood.

I want you more than I want to be accepted.

I want you more than food to eat, pretty clothes to wear,

a comfortable home, or a warm bed for sleep.

God,

I want you more than I want friendships and success,

more than the need to be right, the need for respect,

more than accolades, more than awards, more than blessings.

God,

I want you more than influence and identity,

more than independence and prosperity.

God,

I just want you.

character building

How come building my character is so difficult?

How come learning to love people is so hard?

How come pursuing God is confusing and elusive?

All the good stuff; perseverance, strength, experience, maturity, loving well, being on mission...all that stuff often comes through firing and burning and suffering and struggling.

And all this stuff rarely sees an audience, experiences the light of day, is honored among us.

If you suffer, at least people don't want to be near and at most blame you for the suffering.

If you fail at loving others, people judge and criticize and scoff.

If you pursue God in your life, it may lead you far away from family and community and like-mindedness and ease.

It's back to digging ditches and being weak and needing God's strength ever minute of ever day.

It's messy and unending and pitchy and off the beaten path.

It's counting to ten and holding my tongue and praying and praying and praying

and watching and reading, observing and refining,

it's character building

the death of independence leads to life

Independence leads to self sufficiency leads to control

The death of independence leads to life...check this out:

if we didn't have the poor,

we wouldn't give

if we didn't hurt,

we wouldn't experience wholeness

if we didn't risk,

we wouldn't accomplish

if we didn't seek to learn,

we wouldn't grow

if we didn't hunger,

we wouldn't celebrate the feast

if we didn't fail,

we wouldn't know the beauty of success

if we weren't broken,

we wouldn't need healing

if we weren't sin-filled,

we wouldn't need a savior.

experiencing life to it's fullest, it's most abundant encompasses poverty and blessings, hurting and being whole, risking and accomplishing, fasting and feasting, failing and success, breaking and healing, sinning and saving.

We need Jesus. We can't do this alone.

better than the best dream

"I came so they can have real and eternal life,

more and better life than they ever dreamed of."

what's your best dream?

is it unlimited wealth?

unprecedented access?

unquestionable leadership?

unexpected knowledge and wisdom?

is it enviable talent?

incomparable beauty?

is it youthful vigor?

athletic finesse?

what drives you to be better?

what holds you back?

there is a verse that says,

"I came so they can have real and eternal life,

more and better life than they ever dreamed of."

with precision and grace, Jesus speaks these words.

with love and knowledge, he proclaims this promise.

this, that could shape and mold and form and create

better than the best dream we could dream.

this, that cuts to the heart,

the arrow that hits the target,

the brilliance that dissipates the fog

it's available. it's active. it's real.

do you and I seek abundant life?

do we want it?

It will cost everything.

closing doors openings doors

we've closed a door or two to get here

maybe it's the front door, or the car door, the mall door or the garage door

it could have been the office door, the coffee shop door, or even the bathroom door

and now we are at the place of opening a new door

leave behind the doors your walked through,

step away from all they represent,

lay aside the pressures, the lists, the worries, the requirements of

the roles you play in your life, your family, your community

my prayer is that you will walk through this new door,

opening before you

to gather as a church,

to learn, to listen, to wonder, to dream, to know, and to experience God.

Come! Let's Worship!

the battle in gray

at first, it was gray, dancing around the edges.....

intriguing, mysterious, non-threatening

in the contrast, stark and bold of life choices,

gray was enticing and restful.

a respite.

a retreat.

it was innocent and relieving.

the shadow of gray; a place where explanation of oneself was not needed, a place where expectation and performance fell away, a place of being....

and like a small cloud rolling in the gray become blacker and blacker, but the eyes were attuned to the cloudiness, the steps into a darker and darker place was easy, was subtle, was natural.

and then the darkness seemed safe.

it seemed appropriate.

it was home.

and the brilliant colored contrasts of everyday choices,

everyday living,

everyday decisions

no longer competed,

no longer warred,

no longer claimed victims,

no longer crucified losses....

a constant state of restfulness...a blackness to sink into.

and the being no longer was living,

and the darkness overtook the being,

and the light died out.

blissful gray whispering sleep....

a promise of blackness calling out rest.

it seemed easy and necessary at first,

a justifiable place to recharge,

to step away,

to stop living,

and the cost of grayness became

loss and hopelessness and desolation.

there was a story once, ancient in it's origins, that spoke this way, " ⁴ In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. ⁵ The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. (John 1:4-5)

the darkness cannot defeat if the light source is from another place, beyond each one of us, guiding us, walking us through. The relief we seek in the gray will take us over, but the peace we find in the light with sustain us into eternity.

One Starry Night

A couple of months ago a program came into my inbox that looked interesting.

A one-night-family-vbs of sorts.

A change would occur from our current family event of roller skating at the local indoor rink.

My first thought: "whew...that would be a lot of work..."

But something in my spirit stirred.

A spark flickered and a thought passed through my mind about

bringing ministry departments together,

bringing families together,

having fun together.

I sensed God was in this one.

And, I was intrigued.

So, I did what any cautious leader would do. I conducted a straw poll.

I surveyed my leadership team, asked the drama director, inquired of the Staff Leadership Team, asked random people in the halls, spoke to the leader of the family skate event.

And, to a single person, the answer was, "yes!"

unequivocally.

undeniably.

brilliantly.

yes.

I scheduled meetings with key leaders, gained insights, got buy in, proposed a budget and the plan was formed.

December 11, from 6-8 p.m. One Starry Night, a family Christmas experience.

Free tickets were made and the first available weekend in

November 100 were taken. 100 taken with zero promotion.

By the end of November, our count swelled to over 400.

We added venues, sought out decorations, dreamed a little bit bigger. The menu was developed. Plans mapped out. A petting zone was booked and an anonymous donor volunteered to cover the cost of the animals. An artist began to construct the 8 ' high stable.

Then, closing weekend of pre-registration, 639 tickets were taken and 100 additional tickets unaccounted for. That meant that over 700 individuals and families intended to come.

We were in awe. What began so small had grown bigger; beyond our biggest dreams. The acting cast grew to over 40 players, more supplies were ordered, food counts increased. Costumes collected, 5 panels of the hills around Bethlehem constructed, balls of yarn formed, bottles draped in cloth covered. Two churches shared resources and countless families donated supplies. The props covered the CLC stage. Consultants were contacted to manage traffic flow, to invite guests to come at 1/2 hour intervals, and logistics set up. Safety and Security teamed up and parking lot supervisors brought in.

New dreams of a story paneled hallway and a modern house came to life. A pathway was constructed, a star added to the roof, and shepherds placed outside by a bonfire welcomed guests in.

And the building transformed into a visual feast for the eyes.

From 12:30 to 5:30, teams toiled to make 1st Century Bethlehem come to life.

It was magical.

The two hours raced by and in the end, over 1,000 guests and workers made Five Oaks their landing zone on a Sunday night.

Community happened, ministries worked together, and God made the impossible, possible.

And then, at 8:10, a Roman Legionnaire spoke out that the "curfew was now in place and guests of Bethlehem were to go to the places for the night." And by 10:00, a small team assembled in the worship center to pray. The building was wiped clean. Bethlehem disappeared.

December began with Luke 1:37, "With God, all things are possible." "Nothing is impossible with God." God's word, His promises, His dreams and His vision do not fail.

We give a tiny, obedient, "yes" and he met us, he answered us, and he provided for us in ways we could not imagine.