too many choices paralyzes.....

I've never really considered too many choices being a problem, but I see that it is. Too many choices lead to no choice at all. No commitment.

If I don't choose, I'm not responsible.

If I don't commit, I'm not in charge.

If I don't have to sign up, I won't need to participate.

If I don't participate, I won't be accountable.

I can do what I want. No one will know.

Too many choices paralyzes.

To many choices leads to overindulgence.

Too many choices allows for lack of discipline.

The ala carte` living we so happily live yields few results.

What happens when we do commit?

What rewards does it yield?

What lessons does it teach?

Choose summer camp, for example.

There are so many options for summer camp. I like things about each camp, so collectively, if I could create my own camp which would meet the specific needs of each of my individually brilliant children, that would serve me best. So let's see, if I choose camp A, I'll miss out on camp B's benefits. Friends are going to camp C, but I like the opportunities of camp D. So maybe, I'll switch up and not commit to any, or bounce between all of them.

Now consider my commitment to camp E. There are pros and cons, but overall, I think my child will have a great experience. He may have a challenge or too, he may miss out on the cool thing in camp A, or camp B, and so on, but he'll maybe make life long connections with other friends with similar faith and values. And even if he has a struggle here or there, it will be ok, because he'll see God's hand and grow. But maybe that's too hard for me, so I'll make him camp out in the backyard after all. Happy summer camp, son!

We don't have a choice problem, we have a commitment problem.

We don't have an abundance problem, we have a faith problem.

a new day

a new day, different from others

captured in light,

I saw it!

first sighting, 1999, leaving church and driving into the west, the light traced the edge where sky met earth and in my spirit, I knew God was with me, bigger than me, stronger, more, and I was at peace. I was awed.

another sighting, a dawning, an awareness that God was near, the glow around individual persons as they ministered, served, loved, and lived God in there lives.

the brightness comes and goes and at times I blink and wonder what I've seen. It is awe-inspiring. It is awe-some.......

and today, I captured it on my cell. I watched as men of God prayed over a speaker, one called to go and encourage pastors and the light overcame them, so that there individual forms melted into a symphony of light.

It's a new day, and God gave me the eyes to see and I am in awe.

word vs image

imagine stepping into a gallery;

it's empty, white walls cover all four sides of the room,

the floor is white,

the lights are white.

all white.

except one canvas on which

there is a phrase.

a group of words.

a brilliant blue sky

now, you step into the next gallery,

a new room,

it's white walls, white light, white floors expected.

you search each wall,

scanning the perimeter,

anticipating something,

probably a brilliant blue sky.

you're here for art after all,

it's a gallery,

but you find nothing is there.

you move through the exhibition,

thinking,

"this artist is being overpaid,"

or

"this artist is brilliant,

because they are displaying art,

and so far, there's no art."

but, you're curious,

so you step through,

and as you step through,

you visualize a brilliant blue sky,

like that one time,

as a child, when you were 6,

and your family vacationed at the coast,

and the pacific ocean was vivid and vast,

a deep pacific blue that captured shades of indigo

that reminded you of your favorite blue moon ice cream

OR

like that time when you were 15,

and you choose your favorite

sapphire blue color for the prom and you

draped your body in the most luxurious silk dress

that matched your eyes

OR

like that time when you honeymooned

in Italy and you walked the marble blue mosaic stone pathway

leading to the hotel and warmed your soul and fed your heart

and as you walk to the next room,

your mind has created scene after scene of

brilliant blue that you find,

oddly enough,

that you don't need to see a brilliant blue sky on canvas because your mind carries you to places beyond,

from past to present to future

until

you walk into the final gallery

and you see a mural of

a brilliant blue sky

and it's a green meadow.

the sacrifice

Jesus' sacrifice was

so complete,

so final.

His suffering so cruel,

unthinkable

because our sin is so vast.

My sin so vast.

"but it was our sins that did

that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed.

He took the punishment that made us whole.

through his bruises, we get healed...." (adapted, Isaiah 53:1-6, message)

"Jesus knew pain first hand."

and that revelations changes everything.

For what disappointment, what loss, what struggle, what evil do we face that

Jesus hasn't already met, defeated, conquered?

Sin costs.

A sacrifice must be made.

A debt must be paid.

"..it is blood given in exchange for a life that makes purification possible" Lev. 17:11

Jesus came, not as a warrior, not as a master, not as a King, but as a servant.

A servant passed over, looked down on, taken for granted. A servant.

And to serve is the greatest work of all.

To serve even when others don't see, recognize, appreciate, acknowledge.

Even when no one is watching, looking, affirming, or encouraging.

Even when more hate is fueled, and sin rules, and evil overcomes.

Even then.

Especially then.

i think the best

i think the best

part

of

giving

is

eyes-dancing, sparkling,

reflection of the

inner joy and love

of

another

caring, thinking, and loving

always loving

ever loving

a tangible expression of

an intangible, illogical,

breath-taking, spell-binding love

lean in

I sent an e-mail today.

I got a weird response back.

I felt attacked and miss understood.

I wanted to defend, to fight, to explain, to question.....but instead

God wants to me lean in.

Lean in when I feel attacked.

Lean in when I don't understand the response.

Lean in and listen.

Lean in and pray.

It's true that it's the littlest thing that can ignite a fire,

the tiniest moment that can spark an inferno,

and I could've caused a blaze without even knowing it.

As a person of prayer, I need to lean in and pray.

For the next ten minutes, I prayed for every good thing for this person and against every bad thing. I expanded my focus to every good thing that can happen for the organization this person represents and against every bad thing that could befall this organization.

I prayed for my own emotions, releasing the anxiety, the hurt, the worry, the anger of being miss understood, misinterpreted, of miscommunication. I prayed for freedom in Christ, growth in myself, of wisdom and love, of knowledge and hope.

And for good measure, I began to worship.

To be honest, the nest of nerves in my stomach isn't completely gone. But, my mind is no longer reeling and my heart longs to give compassion. The emotions will catch up eventually.

"O God, give me strength to get out of the way.

I want more of you in my life, my work, my e-mails

and less of me. Help me to seek you first in all things,

to ask for repentance quickly, and to be quick to listen.

Help me to lean in when I feel attacked. Help me not

to defend, but in humility, seek you first."

a tiny spark

a tiny spark landed briefly, quietly, brilliantly,

in an otherwise darkened landscape.

I saw it almost accidently, and for a moment I caught my breath, and

a hint of a smile landed purposefully and then it

vanished.

a whisper of hope called tenderly, lovingly,

in a vacuum of desolation and confusion.

I felt it barely, and for a moment I shivered, dreaming

of a new day, and then it was swept away.

a picture of beauty beckoned me softly, stunningly,

in an otherwise blackened night.

I submersed it in briefly, this glimpse of potential,

of possibility, and then it faded away.

as sure as I have life,

it is here,

it can be here,

it will be here,

a redemption

a renewal

a righteousness

so I'll be, for in the being, I see a moment of dawn gleaming through.

and I'll live, in the struggle of it all, for in living, I'm being transformed.

and maybe, just maybe, a little more of

the spark, the hope, and the beauty will shine through.