untitled

I saw this video recently of a toddler, who in an attempt
to pick up crayons, would subsequently bend over to retrieve one crayon while
another would be falling from her collection cup.

I can so relate.

In a church setting, where people are constantly moving,
some coming, some going,
I have these moments when
they are in my hands, and then as I reach
for another person,
to offer an invitation of God's presence, or of serving, or of reaching others for Christ,
the others in my cup fall out, walk away, leave.

And unlike the toddler, I am not blissfully unaware, but rather am
acutely conscious of every move, like a parent with eyes in the back of my head,
I see them refuse, reject, accept a better offer, deny my invitation, ignore my ask for help.

It's a hard place to be, feeling so needy,
knowing that the time I have to impact and to vision cast
is so fleeting, so quiet and so small,
unable to compete with the bigger, louder opportunities, options of this world.

And yet, I am reminded that
I am a child of God.
I am called to preach the gospel to the poor.
I will live eternally.
I am an heir.

So, who cares if the crayons keep falling out of the cup?

What I am about is my Father's business and I'll leave the results to Him!