collision

it's that moment of
collision
when what's beginning has
ended
and what was is completed

emotions swirl
i don't know how to feel
and i feel
everything

exhaustion
sadness
exhilaration
satisfied
envious
devalued
full
shaky-spirit-intervention
in awe
humble
petty
weary
human

i feel so human

how am i supposed to be?
again, i ask,

Father,
fill my heart,
change my heart,
show me how to be

loving is hard,
forgiving harder still

words inadequate
spirit stirring
oh, so tired

just be.
rest.
retreat.
renew, heal, refill,

and

give again, until emptied,
this is transformation