all this pretense

maybe it's nothing short of comedic

maybe it's so horror filled that I can't comprehend it

maybe it's bazaar, too lazy to conclude

whatever it is, it just is.

with a space filled with so much pretense; it's hard to breathe

and that's probably why the logic isn't sound and the reasoning it's right,

there is not enough oxygenated-filled air.

The first in our trio is explanating and expounderating,

the second is moaning and miserating,

and I sit speechless, sipping my tea.

First voice has a reason for everything,

an explanation and a solution,

"if only they'd do it my way.......don't they understand?.....I've lived, I know, it's their fault they don't see my advice, their loss they haven't followed my teaching. I've got all the answers."

Second voice, quieter, but not any sweeter, travails upon "the hopelessness of it all, the inadequacies and the injustices that brought her to this place. It's the circumstances, the lack of others, the darn bad luck, that's what it is."

I sit speechless, sipping my tea.

First voice agrees with Second voice, truly, agrees. "Yes, yes, it's them, it's others, it's challenging, let me sit alongside you, let me do your work for you, I know a better way."

Second voice, subtly delighted with assistance, though wanting it her way, demurs to First Voice, raising an objection until First voice agrees with Second and sound logic, having already fled the room gives way to the ridiculous and a chaotic solution is formed.

I don't know what to say, so I don't, and I sip my tea.

Leaving the silliness, I wonder how I got here. Age and life experience, schooling and religion didn't follow the normal lines in this case. First and Second are elders to me, but reason seems to have left. Conjecture has replaced logic and I no longer run on the same path as they.

My tea turns cold. All this pretense has suffocated me. 32:00 have passed and I can't take it any longer. As gracious as time is, the minutes have departed and with them, so to my guests.

Tea is over. And cups placed in the sink, shoes fitted, and coats fastened send the two voices away. I'm no longer a part of the trio.

I don't mind being a solo act. I'll find new community; and try to write and build and practice and sing a new song. Hopefully this one will be sweet sounding and soul refreshing. I can't take another dirge.