love is enough

hmmm...the sweet fragrance of love

it's enough.

enough to rest in the love that carries me through

uncertainty. and tension. and frustration. and mistakes. yes, lots of mistakes.

and love is enough to hold me through storm after storm.

struggle after flesh and blood struggle.

love is enough to support me when i feel alone.

it's enough to strengthen me when i am so weak. love brought me to this place, holds me tightly here, comforts and soothes, pours out anew every morning.

it's full and big and wide.

love is enough to answer my deepest doubts, my strongest regrets, my dreams and hopes.

love is enough and i am in love. and i will give love. and like my abba before me, i will be love.

healing reign

we stepped out, a ragamuffin, eclectic group of mixed gender, younger and older, full of hope, dreaming of the power of prayer and

we sought the favor of God.

we sought to bring a people further.

we sought to see His healing reign poured down.

we sought His glory.

and we sang and prayed, worshipped and spoke God's word, we danced and bowed down, we lifted up our hands and we humbly, in silence waited and watched and hoped.

we prayed for new jobs and physical healings and we prayed for renewed hope and we heard and witnessed His mighty, thunderous reign pour down.

He was there, in true community. And I was set free. My passion married my heart and I stood in awe.

He is God.

He is stirring our hearts.

He is Coming.

happy fools.

It's the tragedy i relate to better.

It's the sad story line of the dying mother or the tragically taken father. it's the orphan, alone and against the world that i identify with.

i long for beauty. i hope for peace. i want the happy ending. but it's the tragedy i recognize. its the denial i most understand. it's the longing.

why? we don't see, yet.

we are among the fallen. now.

it's not what it's supposed to be.

we have eternity within us, joined in our very marrow, inseparable from our very breath.

but the reality is we are here.

now.

spread hope.

communicate truth.

give joy.

even when you feeling the dying,

even when you witness the injustice,

even when you see the evil.

we will be seen as fools.

but we are happy fools.

sober, yet innocent. brave, yet mocked. and always miss understood.

we are happy fools.

it's the hole, deep and vast.

it's the yearning, a pull for something better.

it's the haunting, never a moment's thought away.

it's the inability to fix it myself.

it's the acknowledgement that it's beyond me.

it's surrender.

it's release.

it's purifying.

it's refining.

it's sacrifice.

it's desire to walk the path, identify with the one, do as He did, go as He went.

it's to be set apart.

it's willingly stepping into the place of suffering.

it's the dedication, the drive, the focus, and the hope.

O God, meet me in this place.

the path of one thought

communication; the complex exchange between an individual with another, the dynamic between an individual and media, the dialogue between an individual and their maker. Communication occurs when the process of a thought becomes words and is given breath, life, and is spoken forth.

interpretation of a thought. that's where the complexity lies. when a thought is spoken, meaning is added-by intonation, expression, and perception. From the giver, the bringer of the word to the receiver, the interpretation of the word can go from the meaning that was intended to perception and intention that violates the bringers' thought.

And that's the passage of one thought. Imagine that one thought multiplied by thousands of thoughts-some spoken and some unspoken. Imagine the complexity, the joy and wonder and the hurt and destruction that can occur when thoughts on a path don't make the target.

We were given life, we were given reasoning skills, we were given the ability to communicate. When we don't communicate; we suffer. Those around us suffer. When we shut down and close up, we distance ourselves from the community of others.

The passage of one thought needs to be spoken as powerfully as lungs need air and the heart needs blood.

Communicating with God-constant and dynamic. Communicating with others-certain and sure. Despite miss interpretation. Amongst ignorance and humility. Surrounded by vulnerability and risk of rejection. Speak. Give. Struggle. Share.

weeds to darkness, plants to light

approaching the overrun flower bed was intimidating,

the weeds had conquered.

reaching in to begin;

separating weed from flower

was so tedious

trailing each root to it's base, it was hard to see where the plant began and the weed ended

mixed together, one by one.

it takes patience, persistence, dedication, deliberation

it takes one step at a time, one weed pulled, one plant redeemed

at the base the weeds were so intense, light couldn't get in, the growth was stunted, impacted, the life of the plant shortened, the healthiness taken away

the darkness was taking over and the only way to bring light in was one weed at a time.

One weed at a time. One step at a time. It takes time to change. From dark to light. From weeds to plants. It takes ONE.

ONE who is faithful to the process.

ONE who is undaunted by the enormity of the situation.

ONE who knows, who navigates, who is patient and wise, ONE who loves, ONE who wants to help. ONE who redeems. ONE who saves.

anticipate i s a heightened state

Imagine living on adrenaline your whole life...or at least the awake parts.

Imagine waking up and moving either 100 mph or being comatose.

Imagine always expecting, always holding your breath, always wondering, always waiting.

Imagine anticipating and never living; fully, completely, abundantly living.

Anticipate is a heightened state.

It's full alert. It's code red. It's thinking faster, running harder, it's interrupting and never listening, it's blurred, it's fixed, it's focused, it's acute. It's rigorous and relentless. It's constant, unmet expectation. It's goals that are never achieved, or if achieved, never celebrated so that the next goal looms larger than the one before. It's emotionally deadening.

I've lived much of my life anticipating and never enjoying. Never just being.

Breathe in...one, two. Breathe out...one, two. Breathe in...one, two. Breathe out...one, two.

"Listen, my child. I have things to teach you. Watch, my child and pay attention to the wisdom I have to say. Slow down, my child, and live abundantly."